“When you’re a parent and you’re not really watching … it can seem like your child is just watching a cool young man talk about stuff on the internet.”

Warning: This article contains spoilers about the show “Adolescence.”

Parents who watch Netflix’s hit show “Adolescence” may be shocked by the content — the plot surrounds the arrest of 13-year-old Jamie Miller (Owen Cooper) for murdering his classmate — but it also gives viewers ample fodder for discussing the ways we are raising children today.

“Maybe we’re all accountable in some way, shape or form,” said the show’s lead actor and co-creator Stephen Graham when he visited Studio 1A on March 21. “We’re the only ones who can change that narrative.”

In the series, it’s heavily implied that the character Jamie has been influenced by misogynistic online forums. In this case, the narrative features incels, or people who are “involuntarily celibate,” and the dangerous ways extreme online viewpoints can reach your child even when they are “safe” in their bedroom.

Here’s more about what parents should know about incel culture and the potential it has to affect your family.

What is an incel?

According to Dr. Andrew G. Thomas, a senior lecturer in psychology at Swansea University in Wales, the term incel describes “a relationship status where someone isn’t having sexual relationships, doesn’t want that and feels it’s beyond their control.”

He carefully makes a distinction between incel as a relationship status and the incel community.

“Young men who identify as incels and often harbor aggressive, misogynistic views” can be part of “a broader group of men in the ‘manosphere,’ who believe men are treated unfairly by society and that women are given preferential treatment,” Thomas tells TODAY.com via email.

“These men broadly believe that societal changes have given 80 percent of women the freedom to pursue the top 20 percent of ‘high quality’ men, leaving most men excluded from relationships. Where incels differ is in their response to this ‘fact’ — they feel hopeless and bitter with some even engaging with suicide forums.”

How do people become incels?

With research funded by the Centre for Countering Extremism in the UK, Thomas helped examine the largest sample of incels in the U.S. and U.K.

He found that two types of people tend to find the pathway to “inceldom.” The first type are “those with social skill struggles, experiences of bullying and low self-esteem.” The second type are “those with antisocial traits and extreme views.”

The research shows a strong correlation between poor mental health and inceldom.

“Engaging with your child, understanding their experiences and providing a space to talk is essential,” Thomas says. “Not being able to talk freely is one of the reasons people are drawn to these communities in the first place.”

When should parents worry about what kids are watching online?

Theresa Nguyen, Chief Research Officer of Mental Health America and a mom of two school age boys, tells TODAY.com that advances in technology can complicate the way we keep our kids safe.

“Information and technology just bring the whole world to our fingertips, and so it’s taken a bit of time for parents to catch up with understanding how we interact with our children around these spaces,” she tells TODAY.com.

Nguyen shares that online content creators are targeting children as young as 8. By the time a child reaches the age of 13, they may have already consumed quite a bit of this content. Rather than using their teen years to explore their sexuality, these young people consider what they watch online to be “a model for what strong men should be like. Ultimately, that message drives them toward more violence,” she says.

Parents need to be vigilant about the content their kids are ingesting.

“When you’re a parent and you’re not really watching what’s happening, it can seem like your child is just watching a cool young man talk about stuff on the internet,” she explains. “But unless you’re really paying attention to what they’re saying — and talking to your children about what they’re hearing and helping them build the skills to think critically about these things — it’s really difficult to catch what the messages are.”

How do you talk to your children about what they’re seeing online?

Nguyen says that before talking to your kids, parents should first consider the lessons they want children to take away from screentime.

“Oftentimes we just think that this is entertainment, without even asking ourselves, ‘Is this actually giving my child the right message that I want for them to learn?'” she says.

The best thing a parent can do is to engage in “everyday discussion” about what kids are seeing online, even with kids younger than 7, says Nguyen. “Start building that relationship with your child so that you can ask questions and they don’t think it’s weird.”

If you have an older child, Nguyen recommends acknowledging that though you may not have paid attention to online activity in the past, you’re interested in doing so now. Modeling honesty yourself can encourage honesty in your children.

When should you be worried about your child’s mental health?

Nguyen and Thomas recommend looking for sudden shifts in your child’s behavior.

“This might include becoming quieter, more reserved, anxious or avoiding social events. Some children might also become highly sensitive, prone to anger or defensive,” says Thomas.

If you’re concerned about something, ask.

In her own life, Nguyen doesn’t “shy away from these hard conversations with my children,” she says. “They’re going to get exposed to these things, and I’d rather get ahead of it and control that narrative.”

Want to learn more?

Mental Health America has guidelines for finding healthy online communities and the American Academy of Pediatrics has resources for parents centered around social media and youth mental health.