We need to deport just one person, says Fleet Street Fox. The descendant of migrants who lives on the taxpayer dime, refuses to integrate, and divides us all

View 4 Images

Turns out he was right about one thing – some people cost Britain a lot more than they bring in

Today the Conservative Party is promising mass deportations and axing benefits for the mentally ill, so they all get iller.

That this comes four days after a British-born man accused of rvpe and struggling with debt suffered a violent meltdown and k!lled two people in an ill-thought out anti-Semitic ᵃᵗᵗᵃᶜᵏ on a synagogue does not seem to have given them pause for thought about whether Britain will be any better for it. On top of that, they’ll remove the rights of 70million humans just to spite a few thousand.

Whether it would make anyone safer, richer, or happier is irrelevant, because the sole reason these policies exist is to stem the flow of headlines, votes and Parliamentarians to the insurgent Reform UK, led by Nigel Farage. Which is also why Labour have said similar, and because everyone is saying the same the Tory plans have managed the grand total of one front page in today’s newspapers.

It’s all proof that, when it comes to p0litics, Farage acts like a lead weight on a rubber sheet, pulling all the crap towards him. He is a political black hole, a terrifying void that creates gravitational mass out of nothingness and eats its way through reality. If you woke up this morning, heard the news, and felt the nation was spiralling into soulless, galactically-cold entropy, you were not wrong. And this is not normal, even for a Monday.

You’ve never seen them in the same place, have you?

The Tories are a party, traditionally, of the landowning classes, entrepreneurial spirit and historic achievements. They are supposed to be the steady hand on the tiller, the long game, the not-getting-too-excited: the political equivalent of cricket. The Liberal Democrats were created from the dregs of the Whigs, the Puritans, the low church, happy-clappy, la-de-dah middle classes.

Labour by contrast is descended from the radicals who marched from Jarrow and were mown down at Peterloo, the organisers who imperilled the factories, shunned church for chapel, the working classes who organised and gave everyone the status quo a kicking.

You could tell them apart, once; now it’s impossible to get a sheet of paper between Keir Badenoch and Kemi Starmer, whose dad was a Nigerian toolmaker and got a good start in life thanks to some NHS tourism and a donkey sanctuary.

But it is quite the thing to see how these two very middle-class political leaders are decried as ‘the elites’ by a man who went to boarding school, has millions more than both of them, thinks Britain’s biggest problem is the NHS and all the people in it, and genuinely eats his dinner inside a golden penis.

This is a man who demanded to be British Ambassador to the US, then went to America and said Britain was s***e. This is a man who has lived off the taxpayer dime for decades, while barely lifting a finger to vote, speak, attend committees, or amend legislation. He has no net-positive contribution to the world. No new law, no improved rights, no better situation, no strengthened institution or relationship. Everything he has touched and done is the worse for it, even GB News which is going it some.

Some like to say he achieved Brexit, but that’s no accolade. Our trade deals are worse, immigration is greater and less sensible, our economy has stagnated and our international relations continue to suffer. Some might say he put immigration at the top of national debate, but all the polling shows it’s not people’s biggest daily concern even now, when it’s being debated every waking moment. The one thing he doesn’t debate is that he gets all his wives and girlfriends from abroad.

Perhaps you might like to argue he’s stimulated democracy, by ending the two-party hegemony and giving a voice to the disaffected and disengaged. But that hegemony was trimmed decades ago, and taking one look at the people he stimulates is enough to make the rest of us want to leave. More of us would, except SOMEONE took our freedom of movement, as well as the money, jobs and hope.

Every single word that comes out of this man’s poor oral hygiene is negative. Britain is terrible. Britain is broken. Britain has too much of this and not enough of that. He’ll pick up a gun and go to fight, until someone wants to fight him and then they’re being violent. It’s so unfair, we’re under ᵃᵗᵗᵃᶜᵏ, no-one is safe, woe, woe and thrice woe.

The other parties turn to address his points, and then the national narrative gets stuck in a doom-loop of Nigel-says-this-is-bad, it-isn’t-really-but-we-can’t-fix-it, so-now-it-looks-like-we-made-it-worse. The truth is this is a man who has not demonstrated a single British value – or at least, not one that is actually valued. There’s no fair play, no common sense, no self-deprecation, no humour, no irony.

He harrumphs and waves his pint about and wears tweed, but he’s enabled every pub bore to become a racist, and every news report to become a drivel of opinion dressed up as alternative fact. If this man was a biscuit, it would taste of binjuice and dust.

Without Nigel, there would be no Tommy Robinson. Without Nigel, Labour would be Labour, the Tories would be Tories, and there’d be a choice at elections and therefore more democracy. Without Nigel being a walking example of how public money is mis-spent, there’d be no talk of slashing the state, and we might assume that if more people are mentally ill, we should fix it rather than make them worse. Someone might want to ask the question about whether this man’s media presence has increased in parallel with diagnoses for anxiety nationwide, and if so whether the solution is a) cutting their benefits pr b) cutting his air time.

This man can be held personally responsible for the criminalisation of milkshakes, for goodness sake – runny ice cream, what could be more British? – and probably the defacing of roundabouts too. He depresses, denounces, and degrades everything in one way or another, and frankly it’s about time someone said what the political elite will never admit.

He refuses to integrate, he’s done active harm to the tweed industry, he’s a walking advert for the difficulty of finding a NHS dentist, he’s sucked millions out of taxpayers in return for diddly squat and he has overstayed his welcome by at least a decade. He says he’s not safe and seems to hate the place. Fine – let’s judge him as he judges others. Somewhere along the line his forebears came over here, on a small boat, won indefinite leave to remain, and the result is not an adornment to society. So give him a ticket, take back his passport, and get rid